Stop the violence

As I mentioned last week, I’ve been in a state of avoidance. Being in a tribe is not always easy. Working in a relationship-based business requires constant self-realization, responsibility and reflection.

For me, I have been avoiding my bigger purpose: Empowering leadership on the planet. I noticed myself not “doing the work” – and what I mean by that is constantly checking in with how I’m showing up in all my various partnerships.

Because how I show up in my partnerships is a reflection of my own leadership. Until I own my leadership, I cannot expect others to own theirs.

I have been saying, “It’s not about me. This isn’t my tribe. It’s your tribe,” to everyone around me.

What I got is that it is my tribe. And when I fully own it, that I’m the founder, the foundation, it is only then when it will no longer be about me.

So I’ve been walking around angry at so many people, blaming them for “not stepping up,” when I finally got it has nothing to do with them. It’s all about me.

Leadership is Presence and Commitment. I’m already committed. But I have not been embodying Presence.

This presence thing: it’s about owning my shit. Owning my value and my worth. Having love and compassion for myself. Getting that I am whole and complete by myself. And when I get that, I can let go of the anger, resentment, and frustration with others because they are going on their own journey and I can just love them for exactly who they are and who they are not.

Today, I want to share with you some wisdom I learned from our San Diego Tribe Leader, Cara Cadwallader.

Cara is brilliant. She said this:

“…as Divine Feminine Leaders we recognize that when we allow negativity to seep in through our words about or towards another that this is also a form of violence.”

The reason I’m sharing these words with you today is because without forgiveness, without acceptance of others, we start to talk negatively about them. We gossip, name call, talk behind someone’s back.

A tribe cannot exist in harmony when everyone is talking behind everyone else’s back.

And what is the point of all of it without relationships?

Why do you want to have a 6 figure business if you don’t have love in your relationships?

Why do you want to write a best selling book if you are angry at all the people around you?

And yet we continue to think it is all separate.

It’s not.

Health, relationships, spirituality, business … it’s all intertwined.

We are all intertwined. We are all connected. Mirrors of one another.

Your business is a vehicle for your gift and self-expression to shine through and impact others. It is not the end goal. It’s not what life is all about. What’s the big picture? What’s the bigger why?

And that’s what I’ve been thinking about with Tribal Truth.

It’s not about networking, although that is something that happens.

It’s not about your business, although your business gets impacted.

It’s about something bigger than all of us.

What if we all stood together for something? What if we all stood for “divine feminine leadership”? And that may not be the correct term, because it is important to integrate and honor the divine masculine. How about “new paradigm leadership”?

What would happen if we all stood for one another’s leadership? And a new kind of leadership on the planet?

We all know the current model of leadership in the world isn’t working so well. Just look at all the war and violence taking place.

And yet it comes back to what Cara said: violence exists in the simple negative words we use on a daily basis. We don’t own our worth and love ourselves completely, which we project onto others.

Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

And then start to celebrate your brilliance and the brilliance in others. Focus on the light.

Everyone has something to offer you. True collaboration is honoring all the gifts in the tribe and not trying to be all things to all people. Honor my gift and I will honor yours. We don’t have to do it alone. We can each give our core competency, our unique gift. And then allow the best in each person to be brought forth in the tribe.

But it starts with forgiveness. Wipe the slate clean of all judgments, all resentments, all upsets with others in the tribe. They cannot give their best if you are looking at them for their worst.

We are all on this journey together.