Woah. I’m telling you, the energy is moving really fast in 2013. Can you feel it?

I snap my fingers and ask for something, and it comes immediately. Talk about FLOW.

My new home
Creating the first Tribal Truth Men’s event
Making money

What’s different? My relationship with the feminine has shifted.

I’d like to share with you two things today: my 3 step process on Accessing Feminine Super Manifesting Power and a super exciting event coming up next week.

Here’s the big thing I got this week: the more I let go of controlling and forcing and simply allowing, the more flow I get. It is so uncomfortable because I am such a masculine planner; I need my strategic focus map.  But every time I have tried planning something for this year, it doesn’t work.

Every time I set an intention and then allow the process to unfold, magic appears.

Dates, times, logistics, venues … out the window.

The HOW and the WHAT have become a mystery to me. Yes, this feels so weird and uncomfortable, but I swear, it has been working.

Here are my 3 steps:

1) I set an intention.

2) I meditate, move my body, journal every morning, have fun, enjoy my life, let go of self-doubts/fears/worries.

3) I follow through on intuitive hits and then SHARE. This is the co-creative leadership piece: I have conversations with people and then ALLOW the guidance to come through both of us.

Want more? Let me introduce you to a powerful event …

I’m excited to share my friend Tracy Lee Jones’ Global Telejam created especially for authentic and visionary women like you.  It’s a NO COST video training interview series called the Feminine Business Model.

===> Here’s the link to reserve your spot!
Beginning next week, she’s connecting thousands of women across the world into a sparkling constellation with some of the most innovative, successful women on the planet.  I’m so thrilled to be a featured contributor along with some of my closest friends and mentors like Ali Brown, Pamela Slim, Fabienne Frederickon, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero, and Lynne Twist!

This online event is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. These pioneering women will share how THEY were able to forge ahead using their unique paths to make a difference. And each of these lively discussions in delivered in bite-sized pieces of 20-30 minute chunks. (Tracy wants to give you the most magnificent nuggets to support you on your own journey.)

Here’s a snapshot of just some of what you’ll take away from this one-of-a-kind video training series:

-       how to speak your truth
-       how to awaken your confidence
-       how to fire up your energy
-       how to tap into your natural intuition
-       how to discover your life purpose
-       how to create community
-       how to spark your creativity
-       how to transition out of your “day” job
-       how to access your pleasure
-       how to create prosperity from your passion
-       how to lead from the inside out

And lots more!

There is real magic happening all around us.

I want as many women as possible to be a part of this sisterhood “calling” heard around the world.

Time to say YES to passion, prosperity, pleasure, vibrance and freedom!

Here’s that link again to reserve your spot in this zero cost Telejam.

== >> http://tinyurl.com/telejamtribe

This is one of the most cutting edge (and fun!) interview series I’ve ever experienced. Tracy totally got us in the flow with intention setting and guided meditation before we recorded our session (which is exactly what I talked about above!) It’s like sharing a cup of warmth with the smartest women you know.

Much love,

Tanya

I’ve been playing on the edge lately.

For the past month, I’ve been taking actions that feel edgy for me, pushing past my upper limits.

And the actions are all conversations that feel vulnerable and almost dangerous to have.

I’ve always believed that the only actions you really need to take in life are having the necessary conversations to move your relationships forward because relationships are all we got. The interconnectedness of all things. If you want to grow your business, you need to have conversations with potential partners and clients. If you want to have friendships, you need to have conversations with people in your community. It’s that simple.

And yet, why is it so difficult to have these conversations?

Because we are so afraid of what the other person may think. We are afraid of receiving a no because of what we made the no mean: rejection, failure, shame, unworthiness, etc etc.

My edge lately has been around intimacy with others; not just with men, but in all of my relationships. And what I realized is that for me to have deeper, more meaningful and intimate relationships with the people in my life, I have to say the things I am unwilling to say.

And what has been coming up is that the things I am unwilling to say are all around boundaries and support. What do I need to:

• feel safe?
• feel comfortable?
• feel like I can be generous?
• be present?
• show up fully for another person (and for myself)?

When I am hiding something (that thing I am unwilling to say out loud), it creates separation in the relationship. It is the unspoken truth that occupies space. It causes tension and the other person can feel it.

I think this is the biggest obstacle in community.

I feel so insecure in this territory. So I decided to lean in on a call this morning and say the thing I was unwilling to say before. My entire body was tense. I felt like crying. I was so afraid of judgment, being cast out, being abandoned.

The thing I said was this: I don’t know if I want to be on this call because I feel like I am a step ahead of everyone on the call. So I wasn’t sure what I was getting from it. And I wasn’t sure if this group would be able to really support me in getting to the next level.

As soon as I spoke it, I realized it wasn’t the truth. It was the truth in the moment in that it was my interpretation of my experience, but it wasn’t the truth. I am not ahead of anyone. I am not better than anyone. There is really no such thing because every single one of us brings something of value to the table.

By me believing “I was better” the only thing I was creating was more separation. By outing myself and letting the skeleton out of the closet, I could better examine the truth, bringing more clarity, connection and power.

What happened? The women on that call got fired up. We created a new level of permission to hold each other accountable to be our best and highest self. To push the edge a little more. I feel more connected to this group than ever before.

Now I’m asking myself the question: What else have I been unwilling to say to someone in my life that can bring more depth and connection in our relationship? Who else do I need to speak with?

I’ve made a list and I’m inviting you to play this game with me.

Are you willing to have the courage to speak up?

Have that conversation today and share on the blog your insights and breakthroughs. If you are struggling, post that comment here too so the community can support you.

Have you gotten overwhelmed and confused because you are thinking too much? Have you felt like you need to “prove” yourself by pushing to accomplishment something? And from pushing, did you burn out?

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.

In today’s Truth Telling Tuesday, I interview my good friend Reena Desai who was a social change agent in India. While she was doing great things in the world, she burned out in the process.

As she dove into spirituality, she learned how to get out of her head and into her body.

She calls it Embodied Leadership. And now she’s teaching women how to turn their mission into a movement, the feminine way.

Reena is going on a journey and you can live vicariously through her adventures (for free) with me.

Curious? Watch the video to find out where she’s going:

You can follow Reena on her spiritual journey by signing up for her newsletter here.

What does embodied leadership look like to you? Are you out of your body? Share your insights from this video below.

Over the past few months, I have been doing a lot of “work” and it hasn’t been easy. I have been looking at any and all dirty little secrets that I had stored deep inside of myself and shining light on them.

Dirty little secrets can cause misery inside of you. They can manifest as illness and disease in the body. They can stop you from living fully self-expressed. They can wreak havoc in your business and take you out of the game.

Johanna Lyman, our San Jose tribe leader, has been by my side doing the work with me.

And she’s been shouting from the mountain tops the name of these dirty little secrets: shame.

The word we don’t want to talk about and yet the key to our freedom.

In today’s video, Johanna talks about how simple it is to create abundance in your life and how to overcome and dispel shame.

I have personally been interested in how to have more abundance and freedom in my life and business, and I think you probably do too.

If your “inner mean girl” has been telling you that you don’t deserve it, it’s a bunch of BS … watch this video:

Join Johanna tomorrow on Wed Dec 12 at 12pm PST to go deeper into this topic: http://www.romancerecovery.com/decoding-shame

Leave a comment.We’d love to hear from you. Is shame stopping you in your business? Are you hiding dirty little secrets and are they eating away at you?

I am in the Artist Way 12-week course as inspiration to write my first book (!!) and thought this was soooo appropriate:

“Many artists begin a piece of work, get well along in it, and then find, as they near completion, that the work seems mysteriously drained of merit. It’s no longer worth the trouble. To therapists, this surge of sudden disinterest (‘It doesn’t matter’) is a routine coping device employed to deny pain and ward off vulnerability.”

What is deep in our hearts, our soul work, is sometimes so hard to put out there in the world!

To share my truth with you, I totally shelved the L.I.T. Training videos for 6 months because I felt vulnerable in sharing them. Of course 6 months ago, I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable the way I am now. I needed a little practice. And boy did I get it!

Are you holding back your self-expression to deny pain and ward off vulnerability?

Are you struggling to really claim your self-worth in asking for the support you need to get your message out there?

I have a complimentary call TOMORROW that will help you step into your leadership and shine, so you truly get how valuable you are and from that place, attract the right people to be on your team to promote and support you.

== >> TOMORROW Wed 12/5 at 12pm PST

Go here: http://www.littraining.com/call

People want to help! People are looking at ways they can contribute to others so they be part of something greater than themselves. People are craving to come together to make a difference on the planet right now. And you’d be surprised how many people will support you when you are standing strong in your feminine leadership.

And most importantly, the universe has your back. The question is: are you willing to surrender and receive the guidance?

In this complimentary training call, I will show you:

* How to put yourself out there despite your fears and self-doubts trying to take you out of your power

* The 3 biggest obstacles to building teamwork and partnerships and how to overcome them

* Why you need to expand your capacity to hold more in order to reach more people

* How your vulnerability and femininity will make you a more magnetic, authentic and effective leader

* The #1 thing you must say to someone when asking them for their partnerships that will result in more YESes and long term growth

* My secret formula to building a movement quickly from nothing with freedom, grace and ease

If you are ready to be one of the next feminine leaders of our generation, it’s time to for you to own your power and co-create to make bigger impact, faster.

Join this call for the training you need to take your next big step forward.

I’m excited to connect with you tomorrow. Talk soon!

== >> Wed 12/5 at 12pm PST

Go here: http://www.littraining.com/call

Love,

Tanya

I can still remember that morning.

September.

I had just finished the Desert Tour — 10 days of Vipassana, a week of Burning Man, a week in Vegas and then a weekend at Bhakti Fest.

I got on the 7:30am call with my Tribe Leaders and I melted.

Surrendered. Let go. Softened.

It was my big reveal of who I really am deep down inside. My real, authentic true self.

I stopped putting up the front and unveiled my soul.

That moment in time changed everything for me. And for them.

It was at that moment that I discovered I really had a team and that to lead them, vulnerability was my biggest strength.

All the work I had put in until that point had finally came to fruition. I had been talking about leveraging a team and partnership to make bigger impact, and now I was actually living it, embodying it.

90 days later, I am revealing it all to you, my dear tribe sister.

I’d like to introduce you to “The Leading In Truth Video Series” AKA “The L.I.T. Training.”

== >> Watch the first video now: http://www.littraining.com

I’m shaking in my slippers right now with excitement! Why? Because this is my heart. This is my soul. This is what I love to do: empower leadership.

My tribe leader calls are the jewel of my existence right now because of the depth of connection, vulnerability, strength and responsibility. It fills my cup to contribute to their lives in this way. And I want that level of conversation with more women!

So if you are a woman who really knows deep in her heart that you are here to make a difference in the world, and 2013 is YOUR year, I highly recommend signing up for this complimentary training.

This is the time to let go of all of your fears and really step into your power. It’s time for YOU to reveal your gifts and talents and inspire others to wake up to their potential.

20 women are now in Congress. We are shifting the world, ladies, and while this is a record high it’s really not enough.

Where we make the most impact is in business. When women start creating sustainable, conscious businesses to support themselves, their families, and their communities, that’s when we change the future of the planet.

I have been so inspired that I created “The Leadership Manifesto” just for you last night … you’ll be able to download it after watching the first video. I think you’ll love it!

== >> Watch the first video now: http://www.littraining.com

This is a rallying cry. A revolution following the Dali Lama’s prediction that we will save the world. More than ever, your leadership is critical — leading from your truth, leading by example.

Looking forward to hearing your comments about Video 1!

== >> Watch the first video now: http://www.littraining.com

Much love,

Tanya

This past weekend, I volunteered for my friend, Jonathan Budd’s Unstoppable Entrepreneur event with over 500 people in the room. As you could imagine, the energy was very high! Inspiration came through from all directions: the laser show (see video below), the speakers, Jonathan’s powerful spoken word intro and heart-opening meditations, and the community of volunteers.

That last piece is what I want to write about today because it is the heart and soul of the work we are doing here at Tribal Truth: community.

Imagine if 50 of your friends (who were all entrepreneurs) showed up to volunteer at your live event. Now that’s love. That’s tribe. So how do we attract that?

At the after party one evening, I found myself (no surprise) in a deep conversation with a friend who was having trouble in his relationship. He poured his heart out to me. And then he said something to this effect: “I don’t feel comfortable sharing this with our community. People aren’t showing up for me the way I expected.”

I deeply felt his pain because I had a similar experience when I went through my breakup over a year ago: feeling alone, unsupported, torn about who to turn to, confused about how to speak about it without hurting the other person, and upset about the so called “apathy.”

But now on the other side, I see that some of the people who I were relying on for support simply didn’t have the capacity at that moment in time. And the people who did, showed up big time. There was nothing wrong and no one to blame. I was actually pulling myself out of community during the time of my breakup because of my own self-worth issues.

Here are three key steps to attract community that are applicable to any situation, whether it is getting support from a breakup, promotion for a launch, or volunteers for an event:

1) ASK and KEEP ASKING – No one can read your mind and no one knows what you need. If you don’t ask for support, how can anyone support you? And if they say no, or don’t show up, don’t take it personally. As Marianne Williamson said the other day, consider that the person sitting next to you is suffering just as much if not more than you are. That puts it in perspective! If you get a NO, then ask someone else. Keep asking until you get the support you need.

2) GRATITUDE – Going a little deeper, focus on the people who are showing up instead of dwelling on the people who were not. The people who show up are the ones who have the capacity. There is nothing wrong with those who cannot offer you the support you need. You are calling in the ones who gravitate toward your energy. Be thankful and appreciative for the support you get and you will receive more.

3) OPEN YOUR HEART and BE LOVE – Jonathan’s #1 distinction for his success (building a $17 million+ company) is his capacity to love. His heart started to crack open as a teenager and has continued to expand ever since. This is the key to authentic leadership. And this is why he had 50 of his friends show up to volunteer all weekend at his event. This is how he has attracted community support. I’ve noticed this for myself and I call it “leaning in” where I have wanted to pull myself away and protect my heart, but instead have been very vulnerable (as you have witnessed in recent blog posts) and opened my heart wider to let more love and support in. This is an integral step in our development of community and in truly supporting one another. People naturally want to support those who are open to receiving.

I want to hear from you! Look at your own life for a moment and reflect on the times you have felt most supported. Who were you being and what actions did you take to call in and attract that support? Please share your insights in the comment section below.

Dream with me for a moment …

What would it look like if the intention of today’s election was to create love not war?

• Obama and Romney would be acknowledging one another’s successes instead of pointing out one another’s weaknesses

• The 545 decision makers of the United States would be working as one collective team to solve the world’s problems instead of fighting in opposition of “the other team”

• The runner up of the election would be the right hand man of the winner

• The leaders would be telling the truth about what is a realistic plan for the next 4 years

• We’d see each country in the world as part of the family instead of as an enemy

• We’d welcome diversity of opinion and viewpoints from each party

• The US would have more than $500 billion to reallocate from defense to education

What else would be possible?

The thing about dreams is they are not our current reality. That doesn’t mean they are impossible; just the opposite. But what I’ve learned is that while we dream of possibilities, we also have to pay attention to the reality of what is so right now. We have to take action toward manifesting the dream in relationship to where we are today in the present moment.

Right now, there are two candidates “fighting” against one another. And while it may seem like it doesn’t matter if we vote, it does.

It’s like for those who want to go to a barter system to deny that there is currency exchange.

When you are feeling apathetic, take action anyway. When you are feeling uninspired, it is up to you to create inspiration.

Set an intention today, then go vote.

And watch this video about Truth and Politics:

A week ago, I spent the day with a good friend of mine to go through a powerful process in reviewing 2012.

As you’ve been reading over the past few weeks, I have been looking within, doing a lot of shadow work, confronting myself and going through some deep healing.

Because the shadow work has been so intense, it was hard for me to acknowledge all of the successes I have had over the past year. All I could see was the difficulty and conflict during this past season (aka “the darkness”). And all I could see was the losses — car, phone, friends, etc.

Do you struggle to acknowledge your wins as well?

Actually celebrating myself in this session, I felt whole and complete. I’ve been talking about loving and accepting all parts of yourself, and what I realized is the importance of focusing on what works.

Yes, to telling the truth on the guilt, shame, anger, and ugliness and to come to terms with it as ok and normal, but if there is no celebration of the joy, confidence, love, and beauty, it feels heavy and hard to actually accept those parts we turn away from.

It’s not to dwell in the shadow, but to simply acknowledge it.

During my “Year In Review” exercise, I got to see how everything is connected, like following a thread that weaves each area of my life together.

By following the thread, I could see the impact of some of my choices. It was like I was lifting up the rug and looking at everything that I had swept under it. I saw where I was in denial and settling. Actually telling the truth gave me so much freedom and relief. I was also present to new possibilities and pathway to create them — more wins and breakthroughs.

And most of all, I learned how important this process was of reviewing the past year, and how I want to do it more often, monthly or quarterly.

If I don’t take the time to have a high level overview to look at both what worked (to call in more of those wins) and what didn’t work (so I don’t repeat those actions), it is very likely that in November 2013, I would be scratching my head thinking that I was in the exact same place as I was 12 months ago.

I want to learn from my mistakes and turn them into wins.

I want to celebrate and be proud of my accomplishments, actually feeling satisfaction instead of pushing them aside as not good enough.

I want to feel fulfilled and not like a hamster on a wheel.

Because this process has been so valuable and inspiring, I want to offer it to you. I will be hosting a call on Monday November 26 for you to do the “2012 Year In Review” exercise with the tribe. You can register by clicking here.

Until then, I would love to hear from you. Do you acknowledge your wins enough? What is difficult about celebrating your wins? What is your #1 win this year so far?

Last week, I discovered a pattern of why some of the most important relationships in my life were not working, and it came down to one word: NEEDS.

This could be one of the most important articles I write because it really distinguishes the difference in creating true partnership in tribe.

I had two relationships in conflict that I’ll use as examples.

In the first relationship, my friend completely bailed out last week. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll call her Sue.

Sue had had enough; she was tired, frustrated and just didn’t have it in her anymore to continue our relationship.

During our time together, she repeatedly said how she did not feel honored and respected. She felt like she kept giving and giving and wasn’t receiving in return.

I was baffled. I felt like I was honoring and acknowledging the heck out of Sue. I really was at a loss of what else to do.

But in an email to me, Sue wrote that she always came to my house, that I never came to hers. She felt like she was chasing me, going out of her way for me and it was never reciprocated.

When I read this, the truth smacked me in the face. I remembered specifically how I felt the same way about another friendship in my life where I accommodated my schedule to hers (I’ll call her Ellen), always went to her house and felt like not only I didn’t matter to her but that she didn’t “honor” me.

When I saw this reflection, I had compassion for all three of us.

Compassion and forgiveness for Ellen because she thought she was doing the best she could and just couldn’t see how she was dishonoring me.

Compassion and forgiveness for Sue because she just didn’t know how to ask for what she needed (not once did she ask me to come to her house.)

And compassion and forgiveness for myself because I was doing the best I could with the knowledge and experience I had.

How could I be angry at anyone when it was simply a lack of understanding how to create partnership around our NEEDS?

Here’s what I learned to create powerful partnerships where everyone feels honored, loved and appreciated:

1) Ask the person: “How can I honor you? What does it specifically look like?”

Since Sue didn’t know how to ask, I can’t blame her. Since I now know what was missing, it’s my responsibility to stop thinking I know how to honor her (my way) and get into her world and ask to learn her way.

By simply asking “How can I honor you?” I can empower her to really look for herself and start to communicate in a way that serves both of us.

2) Create safe space for someone to ask for what they need while taking care of yourself

In another conflict this week, my friend (I’ll call her Ann) didn’t feel comfortable asking me for what she needed from me because she didn’t want to burden me. It didn’t feel safe.

We did the following:

I gave her full permission to ask me for anything she needed and in order for me to do that, I needed from her complete freedom of choice to say “yes”, “no but I love you anyway”, or “I have a resource for you of someone else who can provide you what you need.”

In this moment, we both got our needs met and created a context for partnership.

The key here is in honoring both of our needs so that we both feel safe, balanced and equals.

3) Lean in

At the time of conflict, it is so easy to get upset, throw up your arms in defeat and get the heck out of there. It is easier to avoid conflict that to lean into it.

Most of the time, it is simply that we cannot see from the other person’s perspective. If we can lean in and truly seek to understand through letting go of being right and instead listening intently, we can solve any problem.

To lean in takes courage and strength. It can be uncomfortable and messy. But when I leaned in to each relationship last week, I came out feeling more connected to each woman. I really got to see each woman in a new light. We each felt heard and appreciated. I got to see how old patterns were getting triggered and that the woman in front of me was coming from a place of love for me.  She cared. She was committed. She was just hurt and didn’t know how to communicate all that was going on for her.

Last week was tough. Emotionally draining and yet I feel so much lighter now with these conversations.

I’d love to hear from you. Your comments create the tribe. Where have you had trouble with partnership? Where have you not felt honored? Can you see something new for yourself?